malalai khan

if you thought the last collection was the final one, think again—my poetry notebook is full of untouched ramblings from 2021 to 2024 that will be finding the light of day now. there are no titles, again, so the asterisks should separate them.

*

I look up at the night sky
and marvel at your splendour,
for you have always lighted
a thousand candles for me
when noone would. 
Why? I wonder. 

*

I am filling
the emptiness
with stars,
and I have never felt
so full again. 

*

We carry buckets
of tears,
looking for a place
to drain,
releasing them
because we have held
it inside 
for too long. 

*

We revolve around shades,
choosing them for others,
sticking them with one colour,
like a black and white cage. 

*

There is a heart beating
in each one of us,
and each heart morphed
from stardust. 

*

I was like a shipwreck
waiting to be found
in the depths of the ocean,
away with the waves
that took me to dark waters
and palaces of coral,
my breath stopping
and slowly, I drowned. 

*

Her face may be
covered with scars,
but her eyes
are strewn with stars. 

*

Hit me hard
with all the differences you make.
But with every volt,
I will only strike more
like a lightning bolt. 

*

Every loner
is a broken-hearted lover. 

*

You don’t have magic, do you?
Because when I look into your eyes,
they take me straight to Paradise. 

*

We are shipwrecks
on a sea of our own tears, 
waiting to be found
by a lighthouse. 

*

I am conquering galaxies
inside of me,
orbiting around the love
of my suns and stars. 

*

A star in the night sky,
a pearl in the sea,
a candle in the dark,
a lily in the valley,
I am out of words to tell you
how much you mean to me. 

*

I am still learning to breathe
when the darkness eats me up. 
I am still learning to breathe
when the ocean swallows me whole. 
I am still learning to breathe
when my heart ceases to beat. 

*

I am eaten up
by the darkness,
swallowed by the sea,
tossed and thrown
by storms of hail,
and yet, I set sail. 

*

I keep my head in the clouds
for the rain is kind enough
to wash away my tears. 

*

Thrown into the depths of the sea,
all broken, all alone,
cries ring out for light,
I am drowned, I am drowned. 

*

We enthrall
in the beauty
while drown
in the tide. 

*

Love every one
of my phases like the moon. 

*

Rows and rows of bodies,
walking,
arms swinging side to side,
like a ticking pendulum,
waiting,
while I, at the back of the line,
wondering what would happen
if I broke the rhythm of life. 

*

Buried deep under
oceans of grief,
I am drowning beneath
and cannot breathe. 

*

Every soul carries some pain,
pains that weight over the heart,
pressing against the ribcage,
wanting to let it out. 
If we changed ourselves,
we could change the ending.
But if you were in my shoes,
I wonder if you’d still be standing. 

*

In each drop of rain,
I look for you,
but they are dried up
by the fate of the sun. 
In each sand grain,
I look for you,
but they are washed away
by the time of the ocean. 

*

Matches are struck
each night in the sky,
like lighting candles
for those who have lost the way. 

*

The moon
is my beautiful muse. 
She plays a tune
on gossamer strings
and then, she sings
the nocturnal song
all day long. 

*

Find me,
then find the light. 
Run into the crowd,
and shout it out loud,
”I am found!”

*

I am painting
whole new worlds
onto the empty canvas. 

*

Love hurts, like a needle.
But love, too, heals like thread. 

*

Somewhere,
between the need to survive
and the want to be accepted,
I lost the reason to live. 

*

The world is a dreary place to be,
or at least it is for me. 
Like a ship lost at sea,
I am finding a better place to be. 

x

(Featured Image: Impression, Sunrise by Claude Monet, 1872)